haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
