I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
