quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
