I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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