i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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