You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
