pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
