problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
