so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
