just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
