do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
