I want you more than these girls want KFC
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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