If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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