I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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