just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
