I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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