i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize