Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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