i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Randomize
