when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
