? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
