belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
