fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
