awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
