i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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