I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
