He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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