I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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