We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
