PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
