I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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