FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
