spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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