I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
