Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
