I smell stomach acid.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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