As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
