I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
