why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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