I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
