"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
