too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
