Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
