Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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