i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
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things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
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He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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