We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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