I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
