It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
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im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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