Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
