i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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