So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
