I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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