Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
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whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
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I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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