if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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