literally had 100 drinks last night.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
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Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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