like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
you inspire me to be a worse person
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
