Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
