If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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