You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
