IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
