he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The feeling are messing with the penis
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
