he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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