her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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