i barfeds in our rink
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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