if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
