I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
